Residential Error
by phenocrystian
Summary: RanKen fic. A/U, yaoi. Ran is Ken's cousin suffering from anorexia. What can Ken do to help? Rating for later chapters. (My first AU fic complete with severe OOCness. Extra long farewell chapter... give Ash a chance?)
1. Prologue Epilogue : To welcome with ope...

**[DISCLAIMERS]** : Weiss doesn't belong to me. But Ken does. *gets bricked* Please leave a comment? *shuffles feet nervously and stares at the floor* I just want to know what you think. I'm not sure how this fic will turn out. I'd very much like to meet new people online, so feel free to send me emails. That would make me extremely happy. 

PROLOGUE 

Rain fell.

A lithe, lanky redhead strode across the dark street as endless droplets pattered upon him from all sides. He was cold and he was wet. His orange mesh shirt clung to his skin like deadweight. Loose black jeans sagged, kissed and worshipped the muddy path with each heavy step he took.

It was late and the sky was shrouded. Buildings of all shapes and sizes rose to their impressive heights and tinted windows glinted off lights of all sorts. 

The bright yellow of cabs. The neon green of shops. The gentle glow of desolated lamp posts.

His feet hit the pavement and he crossed the road. Got slammed by an angry horn and glanced up, mildly bewildered. Red pedestrian light. The raven-haired American gave him the finger before swinging the steering wheel and speeding away into the darkness.

He jammed his freezing hands into his soaked pockets and walked on, quickening his pace ever so slightly. A gaggle of scantily clad girls lounging by the wall leered at him, struck suggestive poses, pulled up their skirts to ride dangerously high and yelled obscene threats when he hurried past, oblivious to their seductive performances.

Ten feet, and he would reach his destination. He stared. Took off in a fast trot and slipped into the confines of a granite lobby. His fingers spread over the roughness and he broke into a smile. 

He had almost forgotten the sandy texture. 

Popping into the elevator, he inhaled sharply. He counted three, and released his breath in a low whoosh.

Ken had taught him that. He was right. It worked. Not sufficient to reduce his pulse back to normal rate, but it helped.

And he needed _all_ the help he could get.

Heart hammering in his chest, he made his way to the door of a flat and stopped. Raised a fist. Hesitant. Unsure.

Could he do it? 

_Would_ he do it?

He knocked.

No answer.

He knocked again. A little harder. A lot louder.

"Yeah, I got it!" someone yelled from within.

The door creaked open, allowing a sliver of light to peek through before flinging wide.

Violet eyes met wide chocolate. 

Ruffled dark hair and full lips. A lightly tanned face punctuated by a delicate straight nose.

He looked more beautiful than he'd remembered.

"Ai Shiteiru, Ken," Ran murmured, plum gaze downcast. "I'm back."


	2. Chapter One : Hot wet creamy stuff now w...

**AUTHOR'S NOTES**: Here's chapter one. Sorry it took me so long. I've been busy working on a collab with Yoippari and talking to Jade and Fel-chan. It was so much fun. Remember, folks, this is A/U. As you might have noticed, this is quite different from what I usually do. I've never written AU nor WAFF before so please do excuse me if everyone's OOCing. Without OOCness, fanfics would not exist. Please enjoy! *crosses fingers* I know this chapter sucks but the next is a lot better, I swear. Care to leave me a note on your way out? Thanks!  
p.s. Yup. We've got hot creamy stuff in here… uh huh. Now who's the hentai? I know! It's _Ken! _*gets bricked* I know Ai Shiteiru is not a greeting. Ran really did say "I love you" to Ken… a rare happy ending to you, fei.

**_So many reviews! Whoop! Reviews r good for you! (and me) With huge glomps and thank yous to:_**

**Silverblaze** : Whoop! Major ego boost! *glomp*  
**Karina** : Here you go… ^^ Thanks for the mails. *hug*  
**Zeets** : Oh… my love… my darling… *snogs*  
**TNN** : *glomp* Long time no see! *squeezes* I had so much fun chatting with you! ^^  
**Shooting Star** : Here it is. I just hope you'll keep coming back after this major suckage…  
**Alyssa** : Ow. Not so hard! *giggles and thinks hentai thoughts*  
**Sylan** : Here's more.   
**Pink Bunny** : *puppy eyes back* Thanks for reviewing!   
**Camille** : I can't fool you, can I? *grin*   
**Lolz** : *mock stern* This is R rated, you know. But you know me. I can't live without lemon, so…  
**Ayako** : ^^ *sheepish grin* Ran's going to give you a huge surprise…  
**Jin** : XD Who doesn't love Ken? *molests Ken* He's the picture perfect boy-next-door. Whoohoo! RanKen!  
**Teteiyus** : Wai! *glomps you* Sankyuu for adding my fic! Whoop! How can I ever thank you enough? *clings to Teteiyus and squeaks* Been wanting to thank you personally but you didn't leave an address…  
**Chibi koneko** : Thanks for the reminder. *hug* That was very kind of you. I make mistakes all the time. Glad that someone bothers to remind me…  
**Ciphercat** : Whoo! Kat-chan! *snuggle*  
**Cece** : Head Over Heels! *demands* I know I should be talking about the review here but pleeeeeease? Please, Cece?  
**Fei** : *joins in kicking ff.net* You gave me an idea. There may be someone in the room with Kenken… 

**-CHAPTER ONE-** (This all happened before the prologue. One year ago.) 

~January 1, Ganjitsu~

Hidaka Ken smothered a yawn with a hand as he lounged comfortably on the couch, legs spread, chocolate brown eyes carefully trained to the ticking clock on the wall. A finger tapped against his lips. Ten more seconds to go.

Ten. 

Nine. 

Eight.

Seven.

Six.

Harumph. Screw seconds. Ken threw off the pillows he'd been hugging to his chest, leapt to his feet and hurried into the kitchen just in time to catch a whiff of clam chowder as he burst in through the doorway. He turned off the fire and lifted the lid of the steel pot. Dipped a spoon into the hot creamy liquid and raised it to his nose. He took a delicate sniff. 

Yum.

A slow grin of satisfaction curved upon his lips as he surveyed his efforts. Fried rice. Soup. Four dishes of which included the ridiculously expensive smoked salmon. Salmon he hated but Ran was extremely fond of, so out of politeness he had to include stinky fish in the menu.

His thoughts flickered to the redhead. Damn but he hadn't seen his cousin for six years. Six whole years. 

Ken grinned. So they had never gotten along after all. Ran was a year older than Ken was. Quiet, grave and solemn. Ken snickered loudly as he recalled the last family gathering they had shared so very long ago. He was thirteen and Ran was fourteen. He had engaged in a heated soccer match with his peers while Ran kept his nose glued to financial pages in the newspaper, earning pats on the back from the family that he would be destined to riches.

Reading was for losers.

Ken jerked his attention back to the food. Oh yeah, the arrangements. He placed the vase of red roses he got from the shop earlier in the middle of the table, a fiery riot of flaming red. Not his usual cup of tea, but his mother had insisted. So Ken had picked up the bunch from his workplace after his shift at Koneko no Sumi Ie, a flower shop in which he worked his ass off five days a week. A college student needed to earn his daily expenditure. Money just didn't evaporate out of thin air with a stupid flick of a magic wand accompanied by an easy syllable 'Acabra'.

Ken lived alone but his apartment was spacey and he was feeling generous, so he had agreed to share his place for the night.

Okay, scratch that. Generosity had its limits. Truth was, his parents paid for half his rent. He was in no condition to argue when they volunteered to host the damned family gathering in his private dining room, as so to speak.

The phone suddenly rang, piercing the quiet atmosphere, causing Ken to nearly drop the bowl of steaming hot soup he'd been carrying. For a split second, he fumbled with the teetering tray and balanced it dangerously with one hand before catching both sides and steadying himself.

Whew.

He set the soup carefully on the table. Feeling irked to no ends, he stalked over to the phone and barked into the mouthpiece, not caring if he sounded rude, "Hello?"

Total silence. Then the vague noise of someone breathing.

"Sorry to disappoint, but if this _is_ an obscene call, you'll have to try and breath slightly harder," said Ken irritably.

"Ken. It's me."

All premises stripped, Ken grinned into the phone at the amused tone of his best friend. "Oi Yohji. Do you ever engage in normal conversations?"

He heard Yohji's rich chuckle over the line. "Okay, then. How are you?"

Ken blinked. " Nani?"

"Buzz! Wrong answer. You're supposed to say 'I'm fine, thank you for your kind concern.'"

A pause. "Is that supposed to be an insult?"

Yohji laughed. "Depends."

"You idiot." Ken smiled despite himself. "What are you calling for anyway?"

"Nothing much. Just checking on you before you make it to the last supper."

Ken, being Ken, allowed the weak joke to sail right over his head. "I'm fine. Really. I've set up the table and hid the boxers, stuffed _your_ scattered porn magazines under the coffee table---," he was quite satisfied to hear Yohji's apologetic wince as he counted off his fingers, "----and cooked the meal, and I---"

"You cooked?" On the other side of the phone, Kudou Yohji turned green at the mere thought. "You _cooked_," he repeated.

"Yeah," came the cheerful reply. Good old oblivious Ken.

This is going to be some family meal, Yohji thought wryly. A dinner signed, sealed, and delivered straight from seven hells. Poor Hidakas. As much as Ken liked to cook, no one had ever had the heart to tell the self-appointed chef his cooking skills could barely meet the basic standard of dog chow. He wondered how Ken's relatives would take it.

There was a loud rapping at his door and Ken executed a quick goodbye to Yohji before the blonde could figure out how to gently persuade Ken into entertaining his guests with coke and pizza. The line went dead. 

Yohji stared at the mouthpiece for a long moment.

_Not my problem_, he decided and popped open a can of beer.

Back at Ken's, his family was piling in. Ken plastered on the fake cheery smile you usually reserve for Aunt Mabel of the Elderly's Home and tried not to grimace as the children ran around the living room and immediately stirred up a pillow fight. He loved children on the field. Not on his carpet. Especially not when they were trotting mud-splattered sneakers all over his cleanly mopped floor. Ten minutes later he bit back a sigh of relief as everyone finally settled in their seats and surveyed the crowd.

"Where's Ran?" A voice echoed his thoughts. Ken glanced around. Sure enough, the icy redhead was nowhere to be seen. He shot the Fujimiyas a pointed look.

The couple exchanged a weary glance. Aya-chan played with the end of her braids.

"We sent him to run some… uh… errands. We don't have to wait up for him," said Mrs. Fujimiya.

Ken raised a skeptical eyebrow but asked no further questions. Still he couldn't help but smile as everyone took his first bite of his special recipe…

Special recipe! 

He stared at the dishes. One, two, three… where was the fourth dish? Ken caught a flashback of a packet of frozen lamb chops in the refrigerator.

Oh shit.

He took off in a full run into the kitchen without throwing a backward glance. It was rather fortunate he did that he didn't catch his guests spitting out various mouthfuls of food. Nor did he witness them downing a tall glass of water each, or thumping each other purposefully on the back. There was hardly any doubt in everyone's mind.

Thirty-four eyes darted towards the door.

Half an hour later, Ken emerged from the kitchen with the lamb chops. He was greeted by the sight of empty chairs, overturned glasses and untouched food. 

What the… ?

The bell buzzed, momentarily jerking Ken out of his trance. He bounded towards the door and flung it open, and came face-to-face with a beautiful angel with sleek red hair, pansy cat-eyes and lush lips. Ken found himself staring mutely at the bow-shaped mouth as it parted to speak, all disappointment forgotten. Only when he heard the voice did he realize the angel was a man.

"Hi Ken," said Ran, thoroughly bemused. "Long time, no see. Where is everyone?"

**:+: OUTTAKES :+:** (refer to _Of Bloody Kittens And Germans with Fangs_ Chapter 9 by Jade Green in mediaminer.org)

Jade : *eyes naked Aya and drools* 

Aya : *realizes his naked glory and runs away screaming like a girl*

Jade & Pheno : *snicker*

Ken : I never realized I was so popular.

Pheno : *giggles and pounces* I did! I did!

Ken : *chokes* ACK!

Aya : ASH! SHI-NE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *GLARE*

Jade : Ouch! *puts on Yohji's sunglasses*

Pheno : Damn it, Aya. It's getting old. *fishes out dictionary* See? *flips pages* There are other ways of telling people to die. _Tod. Matrice. Dado… _

Aya : ^.^ *runs away with dictionary*

Pheno : Hey! Wait! Gimme back my dictionary! AYA! SHI-NE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sankyuu to Jade for tolerating my idiocy! Whoop! Damn. I've completed chapter four and this fic is becoming more the comedy which feels weird coz I haven't written any humor since Insatiable... *growls* Same old, same old… no review, no update. Gomen ne. I need my energy fuel from you. Especially with my newly acquired broken limbs and all...   
p.s. Pssssst! WK Yaoi fiction writing contest. I'm on my way to a better page, so please excuse the ugliness for the time being : http://www.geocities.com/butterflyvestige/wkyaoifanficcontest.html


	3. Chapter Two : Rans and Kens but what doe...

_Dear…everyone! I've rewritten the last chapter of Residential Error so please kindly reread it again if you have time to spare. I haven't changed much except for the phone conversation, but if you don't want to read it, I'll understand. Spoon feeding suggestion taken. Thank you. If anyone wants to read anything, please feel free to suggest. I aim to please._

**With thanks to:**

**Teteiyus** : Oh yeah. I want to talk to you! *hyperactive bounce* ^^ Mail me pwease?  
**Zeets** : *huggies* Whoo! Food fight! Not. - -; But I'll do something about it sooner or later… *muses*  
**blackjack** : Wai! You reviewed a lot of my fics. Thank you! *hug* I'm so very, very happy…  
**Camille** : You found it funny? ^^; I tried to be, but… sigh… ;_; Thanks for your support anyway.  
**Fei** : I know it sucks *dies* But you're so kind…. *hug*  
**Karina** : Whee! *glomp* Another person who has reviewed more than one fic! Whee! *glomps* Spoon feeding suggestion in use. Thanks!  
**Gradual decline** : Gomen ne I'm such an idiot. Heh. Thanks for the reminder. I appreciate it in buckets.  
**Shootingstar** : Here's more *^^*  
**frostbite** : Whoo! Thanks! You're so kind.  
**starlight kitty** : I was worrying it'd be too mushy - -; but thanks for the support anyway *hug*  
  
  


**CHAPTER THREE**

Ken blinked. Once, twice.__

_And oh._

_My. _

_God._

_"Ran?"_ he demanded in a forceful tone. Or so he hoped. His voice came out no more than a cross between a squeak and a yelp. "What did you… how… but then… when… where… ?" Ken winced inwardly at his endless incoherent babbling. Oh yeah. He was the picture perfect definition of coolness. Uh huh.

Ran smiled at him politely, as though Ken was intent on reciting some knock-knock joke the redhead couldn't quite place his finger upon. It was such a warm gesture, an effort meant solely to soothe that it made Ken want to run and hide under the table for his idiocy all the more. 

Ran stepped forward and peered inquiringly over Ken's shoulder. He didn't even need to crane his neck… he was _that_ tall. Ken froze as Ran leaned in and silk red tendrils brushed against his cheek. He was so close that Ken could smell his shampoo, inhale his soap, taste his scent. Ken stopped breathing altogether as the long lean planes of Ran hovered above his own, almost touching him, but not quite.

The nearness, to Ken, was a little too close for comfort. No matter how beautiful Ran was, he was a man. And his _cousin_, for that matter. Ken absolutely stuck to his guns. As pretty as Ran was with his wholesomely good looks and amazingly thin body (not that Ken noticed), Ken was most definitely _not_ interested in turning into a gay (and incest) overnight.

Just as Ran was about to trip into his arms like some damsel in distress from a romance novel, Ken twisted away. He glanced at the redhead who offered another gentle curve of those soft red lips. He looked at Ken innocently without the slightest trace of anger or guilt, violet eyes wide and quizzical, if not bewildered towards Ken's sudden retreat.

Ken sighed. 

Of _course_ Ran wasn't hitting on him. What had he been _thinking?_

Feeling apologetic, he turned on his heel and gestured for Ran to enter. Which was exactly what the redhead did. Ran removed his leather boots and placed them outside the door in a neat line (A fact in which Ken appreciated, not that he noticed at all) before following Ken into the dining room.

Ran looked mildly confused. "Where is everyone?"

Ken had no answer at all to that. He followed Ran's gaze and surveyed the rapidly cooling food and abandoned chairs. All he had worked, those hours he had spared out of his busy schedule to buy groceries and tools, and everyone had took off. It _couldn't_ be his cooking skills… he had taken pride in inventing different dishes that were uniquely Ken, and he had creativity. Both of which results in a great cook.

So where the hell was everyone?

Ken sighed and dropped into a chair, defeated. Ran was still standing beside the table, looking incredibly hot in his tight black tee and faded leather pants.

Not that Ken noticed.

Not at all.

"Ran, you hungry?" Ken asked, rolling his head to the side to meet Ran's calm violet gaze. 

Ran's shook his head. "Iie. I… I already had a Sprite before I came…" He broke off into a gasp when Ken gripped him by the shoulders and forcefully guided him into a chair, careful to ignore his protests.

"Then today is your lucky day. I cooked this meal myself." Ken beamed.

Ran stared up at him with pleading eyes. "Do I have to?"

Ken flashed him an encouraging smile in return of which promised a very unpleasant death if Ran dared to refuse.

Ran glared.

Ken glared.

Ran glared again.

Ken glared back.

And Ran ducked his head and stared at his glass coldly as though he was willing the water to turn into ice. 

Ken watched in mounting anticipation as the redhead stuck his spoon hesitantly in the soup sloshing around the porcelain bowl. Then he grimaced and set his spoon down.

Ken's face fell like a lost puppy whose master had yelled "Stay!" and took off to nowhere.

Ran sighed and picked up his spoon again.

He met Ken's eager eyes.

He sipped.

Paused,

Sipped again.

Then he picked up the bowl and downed its contents in one long swallow. He wiped his mouth with the heel of his hand, ignoring the sour taste at the back of his throat that screamed he had just tasted the grand champion out of the ultimate 'ick' factor.

But the rewarding look on Ken's face was almost worth it.

Stress _almost_.

Ran sighed and stirred his fork in the---what was it, salmon? Orange peels?---dish of yellowish semi-melted goo and wrinkled his nose before taking a tentative bite. 

Ugh. Eau de _toilet_. The smell itself was more than enough to choke him, but Ken was staring at him so hopefully…

He forked a piece of pork and popped it in Ken's slightly parted mouth. Ken's eyes went wide. But he swallowed. And smiled.

Ran smiled back.

And they ate.

_OMG Aya smiled! *shudders* Scary, ne? and Ken outglared the glacial ice prick! Whoo! *waves little Ken flags* Review pwease! *gets bricked* Well, what can I say? I'm blunt ^^; _


	4. Chapter Three : God knows what this guy ...

[**WARNINGS**] A helluva OOCness on Aya. The first part of this chapter is really boring but necessary. I think starting from the middle it gets ok. Hmm. And incest between cousins. Hn.

[**AUTHOR'S NOTES**] Hiya tis' Ash. *bounces and waves* How is the story so far? I'm sorry I've made you wait _so_ long for the update. I'm a bad, bad writer. *fwaps self* It's not like anyone's liking this pathetic excuse of a fic anyway…  -.-; *glomps Ayako, anushkajan and Teteiyus* In this fic, Ken is 19, Aya is 20 and Yohji 21. Got it? No? GOT it? Yes? Now read on. Enjoy!  
p.s. Psst! Can you read _Crossfire_ too? Pwease? It's got Yoippari in it *pokes* She's good. She's _really_ good. I'm so lucky. *^^* Read _Rules_… go on… *pushes readers*  
p.p.s. Gomen ne. My all-time favorite piece _Rules_ is gone. But I'll give you the addy once we're done. Sigh. This will be my last update on this fic due to stupid ff.net's stupid restrains. I'm moving to Yoippari's flat! *gets bricked* I mean, homepage. - -; Check my profile for updates on 1st January 2003 if you still want to know our fics' whereabouts. Ja ne! I love you guys always! Gomen ne Yaoke. I'll send you the complete fic when I'm done. - -;  
p.p.s. This is a gift fic to Gela because she gave me the idea of anorexia. I love you, girl. *snogs* This chapter is to anushkajan for her persistence. ^^; It does pay off. I just need someone to push my lazy rear into action *glomps anushkajan* Thank you! Thank you! And Teteiyus-chan too. did you get my mail? Or is it just you don't wanna talk to me? ; _ ; *hides under bed and cries eyes out* Residential Error the manga forthcoming, because this is originally an original manga for me to try out my yaoi drawing skills. I am doing commissions starting 1st January 2003 and check my profile for updates on that day. See samples of my artwork here : http://phenocrystian.deviantart.com/

CHAPTER FOUR 

"… and that's why I told him always to arrive late and never early so that he can miss his meals. I didn't want to humiliate him. He's a young man of twenty and he should be allowed his dignity." Mrs Fujimiya finished her reluctant confession and wrung her hands together nervously, awaiting response.

In KFC, there was a universal sigh, followed by exchanged murmurs of "Ah I understand"s. Everyone approved of Mrs. Fujimiya's decision knowing she had only the best intentions at heart for her eldest child. Anorexia was a difficult thing, a difficult task indeed to cope.

"I wonder what Ken-kun is doing right now?" Aya-chan piped up. "I wonder if onii-san's there yet?"

There was a long beat of silence, followed by a collective gasp of horrified "What to do"s. It wasn't that Ken was a bad child. Quite the opposite, he was gentle and sweet and kind. But he could be very persistent at times…he wouldn't take no for answer. Especially when it comes to cooking. One of the major reasons why they had fled to the safety of KFC to enjoy the rest of their meal. Face pale and hands shaking Mrs. Fujimiya paid for her coke hurriedly and took off back to Hidaka's flat.

Please, please let him be okay… 

*          *          *

"Gomen ne, Ken. I'm full. I'm really full." Ran pushed away the third dish. He'd already choked down two and he felt violently ill. Damn it. He shouldn't have let Ken push him. Shouldn't have downed more than he could bear.

But one look at that pleading face made his resolve weaken ever so slightly. Ever kicked a puppy? That was exactly how it felt. Like he was corrupting Ken's hard work by refusing to eat.

But he had an excuse. He really couldn't take it anymore. Not when he knew he was going to throw up within the hour…

"Come on, Ran. Just a teensy bit," Ken begged, brown eyes wide.

Well who could resist that look? Not him. Sighing the redhead forked a green mushroom. Green? When the hell had mushrooms ever turned green? Ran stuck the offending piece of veggie in his mouth and stomped down on the urge to vomit like a ten ton elephant. 

Gods. He was so going to be sick…

The doorbell shrieked and they both jumped three feet in the air without ever shifting position. Ken ran for the door and Ran beckoned the cocker spaniel over and offered it the dish. The damned dog took one sniff at the plate, dropped his tail between his legs and fled for cover under the sofa quivering.

Damn. Maybe he could sneak off to the trashcan and run back within ten seconds… He heard his mother come trampling in.

"Ran! Are you all right? Are you----" The loud woman broke off and her jaw dropped to the floor. "Oh Ran! How was your meal?"

Ran snorted. He chanced a brief at Ken's hopeful face and sighed. " It's good."

"Oh Ran, Ran," Mrs Fujimiya eyed the clean plates in disbelief, almost awe. "Why, Ken, you're my savior."

"I am?"

"Yes. And why don't I talk to your parents about this matter. Mrs. Hidaka? Can you spare a few minutes…"

*          *          *

"He's going to _what?_"

"So it's settled," Mrs Hidaka informed Ken the next day. "Ran is going to move in this noon, and you're going to be nice to him and take good care of him."

"What? How could you? Without my consent? Hell no, I'm _not_ living with him! He'll rob me of what little I have! He's going to hold sex orgy parties here every single night and chase me out of my own flat!"

Even with the words spilling out of his mouth Ken had to admit he wasn't making any sense at all. Quiet, reserved Ran stealing? Partying on a Saturday night? Not likely. Still he wasn't at all enthused about a flatmate. He was a guy dammit. Guys always lived alone.

Mrs Hidaka gave him a long look. "His mother is paying for half the rent. I think it's a fair share and you have to agree that he is very attached to your cooking. He's never eaten more than three bites before, and last night was a great leap to further improvement. We are all counting on you."

Ken wavered. Ran liked his cooking? Cool. And he could never turn down a chance to help. So this was a lost cause. Ken hung his head in defeat. 

"Fine. Fine, I'll go home and help. Yeah. Whatever."

*          *          *

"I like this place."

"Uh… yeah?" Ken wheezed as he struggled with the oakwood tablestand. He groaned and rolled his shoulders, dropping the heavy furniture in front of Ran's door with a loud 'thunk'. Once he had wrapped his corded arms around the deceptively delicate-looking piece, he immediately regretted offering to help. Ran was so slender, like a thin willow reed that might collapse at the lightest breeze, Ken was afraid he would break if he attempted to carry any of these goddamn furniture he owned.

"Beer?" Ran offered, pressing the can against Ken's sweaty forehead. The damp coolness felt like heaven. Ken made a grab for it and cracked the lid, taking a deep swig.

The cocker spaniel nudged Ken with its tiny black button of a nose.

"No, geroff you mutt," Ken gurgled. "I worked my ass off for this."

"I really appreciate this, Ken," Ran said in his soft voice. "I'm really sorry for bothering you. I'll try my best not to interfere, I just ain't used to living by myself."

Ken recalled what he'd complained about earlier, guilt pricking him at all sides like a human pincushion. "Oh. No, not at all." A deep flush stained his cheeks. Shit. To hide his embarrassment, he quickly switched to a safer topic and an important matter in hand. "Where do you want to put this?"

"I'll take care of it. Sankyuu." With a sweep of those svelte long arms, Ran effortlessly lifted the tablestand Ken had been staggering with for the last ten minutes and made a beeline for his room. 

Ken stared. 

Fuck. So much for helping the redhead.

Ran reappeared in an instant and plopped onto the sofa. Ken went and sat beside him, and clicked the remote. 

Neither spoke. It was up to Ken to break the ice.

"Well…Ran?"

"Hn?"

"Do you miss your parents? I mean, moving away from them and all."

Ran laughed his soft velvety laugh. "Ken. I'm twenty. I don't miss anyone. I do miss my room though. It had a great view. You could see the sea from my window."

Ken brightened. "There's a view here, too!"

"There is?"

"Yeah. If you squash your face in the window and look at the far left, you can see the football field!"

Ran smiled politely and removed his cheek from the glass. "Ah yes. There it is."

Ken beamed. He had a dimple in his left cheek. Then he yawned.

"Gomen nasai, Ran. I'm beat. I think I'm going to hit the sheets right away. school's starting tomorrow… you should go to bed too. I'll wake you at 7 am, since you're transferring to my university and all. We can catch breakfast together. Anything you want, just holler for me, okay? I'll be out in a jiffy." Ken stretched his arms above his head and yawned, practically sitting on his spine. Then he jumped off the sofa.

"Ow!"

He glared at the offending nail poking out of the cushions and through the coarse fabric of his worn jeans. Ken blinked as slender fingers wrapped around his own callused hands on his thigh.

"You want me to get you off?"

"Nani?"

"Get it off you," Ran said smoothly. With an effortless tug, the nail came loose.

"Oh… right." Ken flashed a grateful smile and disappeared into his room, rubbing his thigh, unaware of the violet eyes that followed him before he shut the door with a quiet click.

*          *          *

"Guess we're in for the same homeroom," Ken whispered to Ran in class the following day. Ran nodded, but his full attention was on the teacher, hanging on every word she was about to spill.

What a diligent guy, Ken thought. I wish I could have a memory span of more than three seconds. He looks as though he has one of three years.

"…rape is getting more serious each day. You should know right here, and right now, how to defend yourself against muggers in this city. That is why I have requested a longer homeroom period from the principal in order to educate you what you need to know…"

Several snorts arose from the class.

"Sexual assaults are not a laughing matter. Today I shall teach you the basics in order to protect yourself."

There was a universal groan, as everyone slouched off their chairs and cleared off the tables under Mikako the homeroom teacher's barking directions for more space for the self defense class.

She divided the class in pairs.

Kaede and Wakaba.

Tomoyuki and Kyoku.

Every pair consisted of a guy and a girl. Finally Mikako's eyes rested on Ran and Ken. She swing her gaze around. There was no spare girl. Ken and Ran exchanged a helpless look. A silent question --- what?

"Um, then you two can be a pair. Ken can be the victim and Fujimiya san the mugger."

No. 

No way.

No fucking way.

Ken grunted in response and turned his back on Ran grudgingly.

"Okay guys and girls. On the count of three, flip!" Mikako blew on her whistle.

Here goes nothing, Ken thought peevishly and braced himself for the blow. He wondered how Ran would attack. A karate chop? A full-body tackle perhaps. Hadn't he said he'd taken up katana classes? Something shocking, that much was expected… 

What he hadn't expected were slender callused hands reaching downwards to pinch his butt, nor the silvery soft whisper, "Mmm Kenken…" accompanied by an affectionate nip on his ear.

Ken jumped about three feet off the floor. 

Literally.

With a strangled cry he leapt back and fell to the floor, landing hard on his rear. Yelping indignantly he scuttled across the floor like some mutant crab and flattened his back to the walls, brown eyes dramatically wide.

Ran laughed.

Mikako spun and glared at Ken like he'd farted in the church and giggled about it. "Hidaka san! Please pay attention!" She turned her back to Ken and blew shrilly on her whistle. "Get back to your partner, Ken."

Ken's mouth worked for several seconds. Then he shut it with a snap. There wasn't anything he could say to defend himself. He didn't know how he'd finally managed to pick himself off the floor and glare at a grinning Ran just as Mikako yelled for them to switch roles.

This is not good. This is so not good, Ken thought. What the fuck did Ran think he was doing? What the hell? Gods, Ran can't be gay, can he? Hadn't mom said he had a girlfriend? Sakura something? Anything? And now he was going to be the attacker…oh, thank god. At least Ran can't play any dirty tricks now. Imagine what he had up his sleeves. Gods.

Ken stood behind Ran.

"Attack!" 

So attack he did. Ken unwillingly wrapped his arms around Ran's thin waist, expecting the worst.

He wasn't disappointed. Mikako chose that particular moment to be called away by some random teacher, and she scampered out the door.

Which left Ran practically free to do whatever he wanted to do.

Ken blinked as Ran dropped to the floor on his back and spread his legs to shout "Rape me! Rape me!" at the top of his lungs. The entire body of students started laughing. Ken was absolutely mortified.

"Shut up!" he hissed, clenched fist raised high.

Just then Mikako re-entered the room. The class dropped to a soft hush.

"Hidaka san!" she yelled.

*          *          *

Ken squared his shoulders as he walked into the cafeteria, balancing his lunch tray, his books on his head. A girl pushed past him. The tray teetered dangerously in his arms and he steadied himself, his breath at his throat. He scanned the place. Where the hell was Yohji?

"Ken!" 

A smile. A wave. A crinkle at the corners of laughing green eyes.

Ken broke into a wide grin and scampered towards his best friend, slipping into one of the vacant seats of the four-person table. 

They ate. They talked. Then they ate some more. Ken relaxed and spilled his guts to Yohji. Once he started, he couldn't stop.

About Ran. 

About the flower shop. 

About Ran. 

About lessons. 

About Ran.

About teachers. 

About Ran. 

Time flew and Ken's eyes flickered to Yohji's neatly scraped plate. 

One lone fry.

Yohji stared at Ken across the table.

"Do you know what it means?" he asked in a singsong voice.

Ken played along and shook his head, brown eyes wide and innocent. "Nah. No clue."

"Now we're gonna race for it." With mock carefulness, the lanky blond playboy placed the fry at the middle of the table. "It's the only fair way, ne? Now, put your hands on the table. Palms down."

Ken did as he was told.

"On the count of three, ok?"

Ken breathed deeply. "Yeah. Okay."

"One, two---" Both hands shot forward. Fingers flexed. Yohji got to it first.

"Ha!" he said, triumphant.

Ken grabbed Yohji's hand and started wrestling with him for it and in no time, smashed the fry into a greasy mess.

"Look what you've done! Now this artistic piece of roasted peeled potato skin ceases to exist forever!" Yohji wailed. Ken ignored him, snatched the remaining tiny piece sticking out of the blond's fist and popped it into his mouth. Yohji laughed long and hard and Ken joined in. It was utter stupidity and sheer silliness, but comfortingly so. Ken felt right at home. He wondered if Yohji felt the same way too.

With a start, they stared down at their twined fingers.

They both yanked their own hand back, a beat slower than necessary. Ken stare burned into his lunch, suddenly enraptured by his carton of half-drained milk. He could feel his cheeks aflame, feel the irritating red flush tainting his face. 

God, he hated the way his cheeks and ears could go a strawberry hue within five seconds of embarrassment. One of these days he was going to the clinic and see what the doctor could do about that.

"Kenken!"

Ken flinched involuntarily when Ran bounded over with a pleased smile on his face. "Very cozy. Can I fit in?"

"No," Ken snapped, brown eyes flashing. So naturally Ran slid into the empty seat beside the seething soccer player with a grin out of scoring another win in his private game of Ken-irking.

"_Kenken,"_ Yohji repeated, incredulous.

"It's my pet name for him," Ran said, throwing his arms around Ken's shoulders. Ken shrugged him off.

"I hate it," Ken announced.

"He hates it," Ran agreed.

Yohji smothered a laugh. Ken glared. Blushing, furious. Obviously he did not appreciate Ran's affectionate nickname. Yohji was startled to catch the redhead eyeing him. Cold. Appraising, despite the giggling, carefree exterior. 

They glared at each other, hostility crackling in the air. It was hate at first sight. The temperature in the room suddenly shot up an extra twenty degrees.

Ken slammed his tray on the table so hard that it wobbled.

Yohji was honestly shocked. He had never seen the brunette loose it like that before. 

"Where to?"

"The bathroom," Ken managed through gritted teeth. "Anything I can get you?"

"Uh, none for me." Yohji looked pointedly at the redhead.

Ran's pansy eyes grew serious. He raised his head and speared Ken's suspiciousness with a calm, collected gaze. He had pretty eyes. Catlike eyes. Exotic, almost. Funny Ken had never noticed.

Their gazes locked.

"A couple of urinals, please," Ran said solemnly and cracked up.

Argh!

Ken leapt to his feet and stomped to the men's restroom without ever looking back.

Damn Ran. _Damn_ Ran!

Ran followed Ken with his eyes appreciatively, enjoying the full view of his jean-clad backside. All the while Yohji stared at Ran like he was an alien descended from Mars. Ran, being Ran, ignored Yohji's full attention and set on cleaning up Ken's half-eaten lunch. He took a long drag of milk. Picked up the white plastic knife and dissected the burger into tiny pieces. He forked a small piece of mincemeat and took a delicate bite, chewed thoughtfully. Yohji studied Ran, a pang of jealousy surfacing within his stomach. The little bitch got to share an apartment with Ken. 

His Ken.

And Yohji didn't like it. He didn't like it one bit.

It was a cold war of silence. Each dared the other to talk. Time dragged.

It was Yohji who couldn't bear the crackling atmosphere and spoke first. "Ran?" he asked, tentative.

Ran glanced up. Shrugged and returned to attacking his meal. "That's my name," he said between bites.

Yohji forced a polite smile, pushing his irritation aside. "I hear you're Ken's cousin."

"Hn."

"He must be very good to you, ne?"

"Hn."

"Ken is a very caring guy."

"Hn."

Yohji ground his teeth together impatiently. His goodwill was waning. It was all he could do not to jump up and throttle the icy redhead with bare hands. Again he pasted on a fake smile.

Keep your cool, Kudou. He isn't worth it.

"So… what is the… relationship between you two? Besides cousins, I mean," Yohji dug himself deeper, his voice nonchalant. "I mean… you must be very good friends… Ken had ranted on and on about you when he learnt he was to see you last week. Says he hasn't seen you for five years or so…" Yohji left the rest of the sentence hang. If the redhead still get it, he must be stupider than he looked.

Ran paused. Nibbled the tip of his fork and broke into a sly smile.

"Yohji."

"Hai… hai?"

Ran's lips curled. "You want Ken."

"Na… nani?"

"So do I."

Yohji scowled.

Ran laughed, deeply amused. He got up from his chair and walked around the table. Reached around and patted Yohji's head. Yohji flinched. 

He whispered a challenge into Yohji's ear before sauntering away, hands in pockets.

"Just in case you're wondering, I don't like to share, either."

Yohji's head snapped up in shock.

Ran was gone.

[ A/N ] So… how was it? I gave it my best shot. WAFF and sweetness just isn't my cup of tea, but I tried. Really. Leave a note before you go? Pwease? I stayed up from 2 to 5 am in the morning to finish this - -;


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